In the month of August we are discussing the process of finding your voice; more specifically today, we are talking about finding your voice without apologizing. 

Don’t apologize for showing up.

That is a personal mantra or quote I share with my clients on a consistent basis.

Most of us as women apologize at least several times a day. 

  • I didn’t hold the door for you, “I’m so sorry.” 
  • I didn’t include you on that email, “I’m so sorry.” 
  • I didn’t let you speak first, “I’m so sorry.” 
  • I showed up looking better than you because I’m  having an amazing hair day, “I’m so sorry.” 
  • Or, “I’m sorry I don’t look my best, didn’t have time to add a necklace to my outfit, didn’t reapply my lipstick after my cup of coffee.”

STOP!

Don’t apologize for showing up.

You are here!  Everyone appreciates the fact that you ARE here.  So why are you apologizing?  No one thought it was wrong of you to do XYZ until you apologized for it.  But now, because you have brought attention to the issue, they think either 1. she really is incapable of doing her job and/or 2. she really lacks confidence.  Either way, you are sabotaging yourself from getting that deal, that job, that promotion, that negated contract.   

Don’t change their positive perception of your amazingness with an apology.  

So then how do you stop apologizing? By getting rid of the mental rules you created for yourself that are causing you to feel the need to apologize in the first place.

You have a seat at that table.  Unless the dress code for your company says: lipstick is required, or a necklace is required, you have created those rules for yourself.  So those are rules you can reset, recalibrate, and eliminate. By the way, usually we create these types of rules because we are told we are “too much” in other areas of our career, which causes us to feel the need to fit in in all the other ways we possibly can.  So we create rules to help us feel like we fit in, which is completely unnecessary.

I’m challenging you to note all the times you apologize to someone today.  What did you apologize for?  Who did you apologize to?  Make a note on your phone or in your journal for each instance.  At the end of the day, look at your notes.  Did you apologize for showing up?  Let’s get back to confidently owning our seat at the table.

Be Legendary!