This month we are talking about embracing your “too much” characteristics. In order to embrace our gifts, we must be prepared to accept or reject feedback by asking questions; more specifically we must learn to not blindly accept feedback and assume we need to improve.
Last week we talked about what it means to embrace your “too much” nature or characteristics. Part of embracing our gifts is being prepared for feedback. Why does that matter? Because when we are prepared, we know how to react. We stay in state and it doesn’t throw us off of our game.
When you were a kid and you played with other kids, at some point there was a better kickball player than someone else on the team. Depending on the group dynamics, that inferior player would say things to hurt the player that was better, stronger, and more athletic. They would say things about their performance, that they were stupid, something about their mom, etc. Right? They would say typical kid things and while we don’t condone the behavior, we recognize the behavior.
Now, what happened to cause the inferior player to react and say hurtful comments? They felt inferior, less than, not equal to, so they started to try to tear down the better player. When you are too much, realize that it’s the SAME scenario in many instances. While your supervisor, your peers, your senior leadership, whomever it may be, uses a professional tone, professional words, and even says, “I’m telling you this because I want you to succeed,” understand that there could be another motive there.
If you can honestly look at yourself in the mirror and confidently know that solving problems accurately and quicker than everyone else is your gift and you aren’t arrogantly touting it in people’s faces, then that’s your truth. You are the “better kickball player” in this instance. This means you must question the feedback those with authority are giving you.
When we are told we are “too much” of something, especially by those we respect, we work to change. We desperately want to be what the company, the leadership, the world needs us to be so we can feel successful. My challenge for you today is instead of working to fit in, I want you to think, “maybe they are acknowledging a weakness they have within themselves. Maybe instead of me changing to be less than, I can help them be more.”
ASK questions! That’s the key. Ask questions to understand WHY they are giving you the feedback.
Your challenge today is to create your plan, your framework, your pathway on how you will react and ask questions when you face this situation inYour challenge today is to create your plan, your framework, your pathway on how you will react and ask questions when you face this situation in the future. Be prepared so you find the root cause/reason for the feedback and then you can react accordingly.