It’s the end of September, which means it’s the end of this monthly series on embracing your “too much” self. As we close out this mini-series, let’s dive into the concept of using your gifts through your leadership in order to help others embrace their gifts too.
If you have listened to the previous episodes, you know that we have talked about leadership as it relates to being empathetic. In that instance, your leadership was focused on a peer or a senior leader. In this episode, we are focusing on your team or those individuals who are in more of a direct report position to you. Ultimately we want to ensure we aren’t being the leaders that tell others they are “too much.”
We must be better than what we have seen or experienced. That’s your challenge today, is to evaluate yourself and determine how you are leading and if you can lead at an even higher level. To do that, ask yourself this fundamental question:
Are you truly giving feedback because you want to help them, or because you want them to be like you or do it your way? What’s the real truth there?
As we grow in our leadership, we know what works and what doesn’t. Remember though, there are multiple ways to be successful and get to the same endpoint. You want to provide that flexibility to let others use their gifts and shine in their own light. Don’t be the leader you hate, be the leader your team loves. How will they love you? By you making them feel understood, supported, and by you giving them the freedom to be themselves.
Many times when we are told to change, adjust, or be smaller than we are, we tend to do the same thing to our direct reports. It’s not intentional, we do it because we care and we think it’s the only way they can succeed. But after listening to the episodes this month, you now know better.
Don’t be that leader that causes others to be less than you. If you apply the learnings we have walked through this month, you are already closer to being the leader you want to be. However, hearing it and doing it are two totally different actions. I want you to be intentional in your approach to this change in your leadership. It will take you consciously asking yourself questions and stopping yourself when you realize you are giving feedback that serves you more than it serves the other person.
Your challenge today is to build your personal feedback mechanism. Before you share feedback with someone I want you to ask yourself: Does it add value to the person? Will it make them better or me better? Is my feedback going to lessen their strengths or strengthen their self-doubt? Once you answer those honestly, you will know how to proceed.