This is absolutely your year! Last week you identified your primary story; the story you tell yourself that defines your identity and how you carry yourself in the world. You know there are parts of that story that serve you, but there are also pieces and parts that hold you back. In order to make 2022 your year, you must reframe your story in order to propel you forward.
As you know, I shared my old story with you last week. That story was all about success but also “lonely success” because I told myself I couldn’t count on anyone. Now, where did this story come from? Honestly, it was my interpretation of various life situations over time. Was it true? No! But it very much became my truth. And that’s what has happened with your story too! So let’s change that old story.
If you haven’t written out and identified your old story, go back and listen to last week’s episode and take that action first. If you are struggling, do some heart breathing to find the answers from your heart, not just the logical, rational reasons for “why” you believe what you believe.
Now that you have your current story documented, I want you to look at the pieces that are disempowering. Ask yourself: “What happened to me in the past to cause me to believe this part of my story?”
Don’t ask why, ask what. What happened?
Identify those specific life events that caused you to say things like I did: “I can’t count on people to be around.” For me, it was various life events that happened to me when I was very young. Things like biological parents divorcing, my grandfather passing away when I was 7, a new sibling born when I was 8 that took the attention of my mom.
As an adult, we can look at those situations I just shared and immediately understand that those events do not mean that people always leave, or that they are unreliable. But in my child-brain, when I created my story, that’s what it meant. Those meanings and that story then stuck with me because I had no reason to change the story. And here’s the reality, the majority of us do not sit down and truly assess our current story, much less seek to understand the events that created that story.
Once you sit down and identify your life events, just like me, you will quickly see that the assumptions and inferences you made, probably as a child, are not the same ones you logically make today. Identify those events, write them down, and then give them a new meaning. For me, when I assessed the parts of my story, they were all normal life events that had nothing to do with me personally or the fact that I can’t count on others.
By identifying those events I reframed their significance in my life. No longer was my childhood about people leaving me or intentionally showing me they were unreliable. None of those events were actually about me! Once I sat down and acknowledged that my brain reframed the story.
A reframe is when you look at an event and change the meaning it has. Once you reframe, you don’t have any evidence for your current story. That evidence has been destroyed in the reframe.
Your challenge today is to identify the events in your life that have caused you to create the disempowering pieces of your old story. Then, reframe those events and take away their ability to exist in their old form within your mind. Completely shift the meaning of those events in your mind.