On this “Ask Katrina,” the question is:
“Katrina, I feel like sometimes I just can’t take it anymore. I am so stressed, I feel like I’m about to explode. How do I handle this? How do you handle this?”
For me, I do two things, or I did when I was in the corporate space specifically.
When I feel like I’m about to explode, I have what I call a “crying in the shower” moment.
We all have a multitude of life events, pieces of information, wins, “loses,” happiness, heartbreaks, and all of the roads in between happening at any given moment.
We work diligently to remember that life is happening for us, not to us (Ton Robbins) but sometimes we are simply human. Meaning, sometimes it’s all just a bit too much and we feel overwhelmed.
Crying in the Shower Due to Overwhelm
We’re the ones that solve the problems when things go wrong.
People look at us and they think, “Okay, don’t worry, she’s got it.”
Like, she’s always got it.
We have a brand for being the woman who’s “got it.”
And yet, at the same time, what you and I both know is that, yeah, we may have it, but we’re also human, and having it all the time is hard.
It’s so much better whenever we can “have it” as a team, right?
Or “have it” as a couple.
But sometimes, life just doesn’t happen that way.
This combined with us having a personal brand as the problem-solver, the solutions woman, the woman who always “has it,” can make for a trying time if everything starts to hit at once.
After a while, we also have to recognize that we’re human too. When we reach our human point and need our human moment, then we simply must find a way to let it out.
When I was in my corporate career, I would simply go home and take an early shower.
A nice hot, steamy, quiet, private, shower.
And if it was a really tough moment, I would cry and just let out all of the emotion.
I chose the shower because it was the only private space that I had. It was enclosed and kept the sound in and I felt like I could let out my emotions without having to have a conversation with someone about them. Right, wrong, or otherwise, that was my “safe” solution.
I would let the water wash over me and essentially wash away all of the overwhelm.
It was cathartic.
I could let go of all of that human stress, fear, worry, and anxiety, and I could let it go in there and come out ready to face the world again.
Realize that at that time, I thought I needed to always show up with strength and solutions because that was my brand.
I would tell you that if you need these “crying in the shower” moments, go do them.
Go have them. Go have those human moments.
But the other thing that I would tell you is that you don’t have to do it alone.
Prevent the Crying in the Shower Moments
Sometimes I was so proud that I felt like I couldn’t ask for help and, as I said, that I would damage my brand if I asked for help.
Now I know that’s not the case and I want to encourage you that if you think that’s the case for you, let’s chat. I promise, it’s not.
Do I feel overwhelmed from time to time today? Sometimes, but it’s rare.
Do I still have “crying in the shower” moments?
Rarely. Usually, they occur because I start thinking and something emotional hits me, not because I raced myself into the bathroom to eliminate my overwhelm.
Now what I do when I feel myself getting overwhelmed or stressed or worried is I seek to understand why.
Where is that feeling coming from?
Is it someone else putting expectations on me that are unrealistic and therefore I need to have a conversation?
Or is it me placing expectations upon myself that are unrealistic? (Usually, it’s us doing the placing more so than someone else, am I right?)
Once I identify where that stress is coming from or where that potential overwhelm is coming from, then I just take action and reduce it.
Because there’s no need to live in overwhelm.
The “crying in the shower” moments help us reduce or temporarily eliminate the emotions, but it doesn’t resolve the root cause.
It’s ok to say, “Hey, there’s too much on my calendar this week. There’s no way I’m going to get all this done. Let’s restructure it.”
If you’re placing the work on your calendar yourself, it’s time for a change.
Look at your calendar, delegate where you can, or postpone what you have tried to personally cram into an already full day and give yourself some room.
If you are having “crying in the shower” moments and you’re ready to reduce them by eliminating the overwhelm but are unsure of where to start, schedule a 15-minute call with me, and let’s chat.