“Why can’t I just do this alone?
I am so tired of people.
I am tired of the expectations, the demands, and the neverending complaints.
I’m tired of not feeling good enough.
I want to do life alone!”
I had a client share this sentiment with me recently.
Can you identify with it?
She is to a point where she just can’t take it anymore.
This beautifully brilliant person was essentially saying to me, “I can’t take the pain anymore, I need space to breathe, exist, and just be. But in order to do that, I must get away from people.”
How many times have you said that or something like that in the past few months?
I get it.
People are tough.
And I can say that because I am one of them!
We all are.
But the story with my client doesn’t end there, let me finish.
A few days later this client came back and said, “I am sorry I was so harsh. I just needed a few minutes to decompress.”
My response?
“No apology needed. That’s what I am here for.”
You see, life is not easy. No one ever said it would be.
We are going to face challenges on a daily basis, and how we respond to those challenges is a test of our character and our ability to grow and overcome.
So when we start to burn out, feel defeated, and want to run and hide, what can we do?
How should we handle it?
Don’t Go at It Alone
1. Allow yourself to recognize your emotions.
If you don’t realize how you are feeling, how can you both honor yourself and move out of that headspace?
2. Don’t be angry or upset with yourself for feeling like you can’t handle the situation, instead, do the opposite.
Those self-defeating emotions will only take you further down the emotional spiral.
Instead, praise yourself.
Give yourself praise for identifying exactly how you are feeling. Very few individuals have the courage to look within and do something about it. You are one of those few who are willing to take that hard look, so acknowledge that and celebrate yourself for it.
3. Identify where and when you are feeling all of this.
Are you alone at the end of a busy day with a glass of wine or are you on camera in a big meeting?
Recognize your environment and allow yourself to respond accordingly.
What does “respond accordingly” mean?
It means that if you are in the middle of a meeting, you can’t meltdown in that moment.
We all know that you would never forgive yourself for that because it goes against who you are. So simply commit to maintaining self-control.
How do you maintain self-control in this situation?
You excuse yourself by telling the room you suddenly aren’t feeling well and you will be back in just a moment.
Now before we go any further, please tell me which part of that statement isn’t true?
It’s 100% true, so use it.
“Feeling well” doesn’t have to be solely focused on your physical experiences, nor should it. So commit right now that those are the words you will use when/if you need them.
4. Let it out and get back on track.
Once you get to a private location, give yourself 90 seconds to rage, scream, cry, hurt, explode whatever you need to do, but no more than 90 seconds.
Why?
Because those emotions don’t solve this problem, they only perpetuate it.
Don’t stay focused on your pain, hurt, fear, disappointment, etc. Those emotions will not pull you out of the overwhelm, they will keep you stuck in it.
So if letting it out helps you, then let it out.
If calling someone who will simply listen as you vent for 90 seconds helps, call your coach, strategist, or friend.
But you’ve only got 90 seconds.
5. Remember who you are.
You are the leader of your team, the person who kicks butt and takes names, the talented, irreplaceable asset.
When life hits hard and you feel like people are demanding too much, remember that you control how you experience those demands.
You decide if you are grateful for the opportunity to teach someone else how to solve the problem.
As the high-achiever that you are, you are grateful for what you have, who you are, and what you have accomplished.
Remember who you are.
6. Take time for you
When we feel like the world is pulling at us, it’s easy to stop our self-care routines to take care of others.
Take some time to love and serve yourself.
It’s not just OK to do, it’s expected!
Want to chat about it?
Schedule a call and let’s talk about life, career security, balance, happiness, and success!