Does this sound like you?
“I don’t know what to do?!
I have been told I “need to improve” but all of my prior supervisors, my team, peers, every other person I can think to ask all look at me like I’m crazy and tell me that I’m amazing.
But my boss told me I have to fix it . . . that I’m just too much.
I have to figure it out!”
Being told you are too much in a way that makes you feel less than, or small is a horrible place to live.
You have been asking yourself: “Why am I in this mess and how do I get out of it?”
Ready to get your answers?
The Goldilocks Dilemma is the “Why”
Why are you trying to change?
Why are you seeking feedback so that you can improve?
It’s The Goldilocks Dilemma.
It happens when a female leader is given feedback that her gifts are being perceived as performance gaps.
This feedback comes usually during a performance review or some officially documented meeting that then defines your risk/benefit to the organization.
You don’t want to be seen as a risk.
Ever.
The Goldilocks Dilemma defines “why” you are in this situation.
It’s why you are seeking the feedback because you now believe your gifts are a risk to your career and you must figure out how to eliminate the risk.
The Female Corporate Paradox Is the Resolution
How do you solve the Dilemma?
You solve it by answering the question: how do I fit in and reduce the risk yet stand out in order to be promoted?
This question is the Female Corporate Paradox.
Over and over and over again you work tirelessly to answer this question.
We step into The Goldilocks Dilemma because our deepest fear is being “not enough.”
Never did we think our gifts and talents would cause us issues or risk.
Because of that, we willingly step into the Female Corporate Paradox because we believe this is the resolution to our dilemma.
We must fit in in order to be safe in our careers, right?
Yet we still have to stand out in ways that will get us promoted.
We still want to be successful.
If the ways we used to stand out before (our gifts) are now our weaknesses, then how do we stay safe yet get promoted?
It’s a never-ending loop.
A limiting loop.
Once you are in it, you sacrifice everything.
Yourself.
Your relationships.
Your life.
Believing the only way to get your life back, the only way to solve this problem is to stay in the loop.
You’re trapped.
So how do you break the limiting loop?
How do you get out?
Better yet, how do you start living life on your terms?
You embrace the fact that your gifts aren’t gaps.